This is a story of myself, some cuddles, and one dumbass. For purposes of clarification we'll call this dumbass Rilla.
I came into the flat this evening and Rilla, who usually runs to the door to greet you, jumped down off the bed and collapsed in a puddle on the floor. She then just lay there, yawning and blinking at me. Clearly I had to go to her.
Which I then did. I picked up the molten, liquid form of my kitten and tried not to drop any stray paws or tails that could not support themselves currently. Rilla still has a lot of play and fight left in her, so when you catch her like this you sure as hell make the most of it. So I lay down on the bed with Rilla on my stomach for a cuddle. She started to purr.
It was all warm and snuggly and lovely and fluffy and all the good things. Purr.
I was scratching under her chin and she had her head stretched right forward, you know that way all cats do. Eyes shut and everything. Her little fluffy head got lower... and lower. Little fluffy paws padding on my collarbone.
Some cat hair floated down and settled on my nose. Now, I only have two hands, one holding the cat so she doesn't fall off and the other the bliss machine at the chin end. I moved the latter for one second to scratch my nose.
What I didn't know, is that Rilla had fallen asleep. I had not realised that I was the only thing holding her head up. When I moved my hand, her head fell straight forward and she head-butted me right between the eyes.
She woke up hissing at my face, at the bed, at the whole nasty world where bad things happen to lovely, darling little kittens that fall asleep. So much hissing. So. Much. Hissing.
I did what any self-respecting pet owner would do. I laughed my ass off. I laughed till tears were streaming down my face.
She has since then been in a huff. She jumped down from the bed, went through into the living room and crawled into her favourite cardboard box. She doesn't seem to have any plan on coming out.
For the record, I tried to check that she's ok, but the little black furry boxing gloves coming swinging out of the box were having none of it.
Which I guess means she must be fine.